I spent probably half my life trying to be good enough for God's love! Religion told me I had to be. I had to dress a certain way, I had to certainly be good and not make a mistake. Yes, I knew God loved me, but in my mind, because He had to, because He was God, not because He really loved "me". I went to a private Christian school where I was told no make up, no pants (girls don't wear pants according to religion), no short dresses (above mid calve lower leg), and certainly no dancing. And honestly, the examples around me were not that loving. Many drank pickle juice every chance they got! They kind of looked down on me. I shared some of that in earlier stories and will share more soon. I have had a few personal challenges lately and not able to paint or write stories. This week I should be back on track. Thank you to those who were praying for me!
Here is the thing. Somewhere, someway, God revealed to my heart He actually likes me! And I talk to Him all day long. All the time. And when I say something I shouldn't have to someone, I pretty much know it right away. And sometimes.... oh my, I know it before I say it, and then dog on if I don't still say it anyway! I do that less now, because, well, I started listening a little more to His voice in my heart than mine. Nothing on my doing. He just speaks really loud sometimes! I am so thankful I learned He loved me. I am so thankful I learned He loves me right where I am. Oh what a joy! He loves you right where you are! You are just absolutely precious and a bundle of joy to Him! He does not look at the mistakes you made, or will make. He is looking at His pride and joy, you, the creation dear to His heart. Jesus died for anything that would keep you from His love. It is a fact. If you hesitate to believe that, ask Him to help you! Just be a kid. Got a problem, go to your Daddy (God). Make a mistake, don't turn and run....I did this, I know what that feels like. In your worst of worst times, turn to Him. He is there. It is easier to have His help than to run. Stay and know He loves you through that mess you might be going through! Nothing stops His love.
We all make mistakes. There is no need to beat yourself up about it. The very thought of feeling bad is proof God is wooing your heart, not to judge you, but to love you and walk with you through that thing! He will never leave you or forsake you! I find my walk with the Lord to be a simple one where I just believe what He said when He said He loved us. And I have this as my guide... the scripture that in my mind, says what the will of God is. Which is this, Micah 6:8: It hath been told thee, O man, what is good, and what the Lord doth require of thee: only to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God. (Jewish Publication Society Bible)
That is not so hard, right? Justice (doing good), love mercy (take a big portion of that for yourself! it is not just for others!), and walk humbly. That does not mean you walk like a no good worm. It means you know you are a treasure of God and look to him for your direction, your worth, your marching orders. He is the Captain that we know and trust. You may be a mighty warrior. What glory is there to God if you act like a worm? God's goodness is a very real thing to shout from the mountain tops for the evangelist! There are many callings and gifts made for each individual, YOU will touch lives with your calling and gifts. And you will enjoy life, also, because that is first, relationship, YOUR walk with God. Him taking you by your hand and showing YOU the world! Stepping back in shyness or false humility, what good does that do for the Kingdom of God? And by the way, I feel the need to take up for the worm! It is a remarkable creature that does a great job at what God created it to be! We would be in a mess without them. There are so many parts of the body of Christ, and they all are needed. Don't shrink back from the stirrings of your heart that God put in there!
Those stirrings don't have to be to go and evangelize the world! You might not run a crusade that will lead thousands to Jesus, but you know what, you can run the crusade in your household and win the souls of your children for the Lord! You can have a Bible study in your house if you have the gift of teaching. And guess what, you can have a Bible study in your house even if you do not have the gift of teaching! You can all just reason together, or God might send a teacher! You might have the gift of hospitality that a teacher might lack. The teacher might not have a Bible study because the thought is just to overwhelming to them, but you may love to be a hostess and are good at it and start a study with the teacher. You may be called into a group, led there by the Lord, because He put an anointing on you for healing. You may be called into a group because you are the peace maker, or have the gift of mercy! You may be the one that makes everyone feel at home! There are countless gifts and callings! We are in this together! We are all growing in the knowledge of our Lord. It is a beautiful thing. No need to worry! He is the Author and finisher of your faith! YOU WILL GET THERE! And He will work through each of us to help others get there!
Pride is the flip side of humility...we don't want to go there, and not know in our heart our gift is from the Lord. We don't want to lean on our gift and not God, thinking more highly of ourselves than we ought. You are what you are because God made you. So, on one end, if you shy away from what God put in your heart, just keep pondering it and pray for boldness. If you are leaning on your gift and forgetting God, remember to thank Him and ask Him what more can you do for Him.
It all boils down to life. To living. The most precious parts are the ones the Lord put around you. Never go off to minister to the world, like the prize is out there somewhere, and neglect your own family. The prize is enjoying the gifts God gave to you of a wife, husband, or children. If you chose not to have a family, your prize is the fullness of His love in your heart and the world He touches you with. The kindness you see in the eyes of others! Treasures and blessings everywhere! We all need to be sure to take the time to enjoy the life He gave us. Have our love cup full so we have to pour out to the world. (I need some more love cup filling this week! Been a hard one.) Be a kid in your heart towards God and know He looks on you with love. If something happened you feel bad about, just say you are sorry. There is not suppose to be condemnation to the children of God, we just say we are sorry and move on. If you are not a child of God, He wants you to be. You just ask Jesus to save you and He will. He will make you a new creation on the inside, born into God's kingdom, born again. It is a spirit thing, that happens to your spirit, and then He, the Spirit of Truth will teach you. It all comes from just asking Him to be your savior. That is where your journey of peace begins. The Good News! Old things passed away, behold all things new! Just like that! His mercies are new every morning so we can say we are sorry if He showed us somewhere we messed up. It is a relationship of love. He will teach you and guide you. You just let Him love you and let Him teach you how to do that to others. Do Justice, love mercy, and walk humbly before your God. And He helps you do it! Win, win!
Practice knowing how precious your are to God. Practice it until you know it! Think every flower you see, He grew just for you. Think that beautiful cloud you saw, He meant for you to see. When you see the leaves on trees blowing, feel it, and know God is touching you with His love. Notice all the love He put around you! You noticing that, is the forming of a beautiful relationship. Walk with God. He really, really likes you! He loves to see you happy! He loves to bless you. It is His desire to bless you! Practice, practice, practice, until you do not hesitate to come boldly to the throne of grace in your time of need. Our Fathers face is never turned away from us. Only one time ever did He turn His face, and that was on Jesus, so that He could look on you with Love. Don't waste that! Jesus died for it. And Jesus is so proud to have presented you to God. You are a trophy! You are special to the Lord! You are loved so very, very, much! You are safe in that love, He won't pull it back, ever! When I get a little overwhelmed or feel I made a mistake I should say I am sorry for. I say I am sorry, and then take the time to take a very deep breath, many actually, to breathe in God's love and I tell myself, He is right here with me, to just shake it all off, dust myself off and carry on! Whatever I did wrong, is now in the past because I asked God to forgive me. And that is what God does with our sin, throws it far from us, as far as the east is from the west, gone! To never be remembered. Talk about humble. Don't bring that thing back up when you know God forgave it! Amen!? You are just loved, don't forget it! Pass it on! It is Good News!
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Here is a post that you can also share if you want that has all my stories in it. Just click on link and it will take you to a lion post. Part one, my testimony and what happened to my son Bryan is on the Lion, rest of stories on other pics in it's comment section. Just click on pics to read.
Thank you so much! God bless you! Love Pam, Bryan's Mom!